


Portraits of the Past and Future

by agetwellcard



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Post-Split
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 23:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agetwellcard/pseuds/agetwellcard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan had a brief photography obsession, and that's all Brendon really wants to remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Portraits of the Past and Future

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt from my friend: Ryan and Brendon are in the same room but not speaking, though after an internal battle Brendon gets the courage to speak to Ryan. An emotional reunion(?)   
> Also, here's the pictures I used for inspiration: http://25.media.tumblr.com/0e4cd8072f8c6488c227b9a56fb44492/tumblr_mjsp26O7q51s5qrifo1_500.jpg

I swirl around the decadent liquor that sloshes around in my wine glass every time I make a slight movement. The red substance moves from side to side, leaving a faint line of its movement. 

"I was talking to Connor and he told me that Ryan's here." Sarah says, sitting down on the couch I'm on. She slouches against me, chin resting on my shoulder in a fond movement.

I nod and take a quick sip of the substance in my drink that's stopped it's motion. "I saw him. A few times." 

"You say hi?" She asks, picking up her head and giving me a shiny pair of eyes. Today, they're blue and remind me slightly of Spencer's. 

"Not yet." I say nonchalantly, sliding further into the couch. "I figure he can." 

Sarah gives me a disapproving look. "Brendon," she sighs, grabbing for my hand and letting our fingers entwine. "You guys text every once in a while so it's not like its been forever since you've talked to him." 

"That's different though." I mutter.

I hear Sarah let out a sigh and she starts humming a soft tune as she burrows further into my neck.

I look around the party. It's a classier event, women in form fitting dresses and men in sport jackets. Sarah and I are no exception, her best heels donning her feet and my best tie choking my neck. She told me it matched her dress. I don't really think it does.

"I have to take a piss." I say, trying to pry her from my body. 

She willingly lets go, eyes floating upwards as I stand. "So eloquent, you are, mister Urie." 

I mock curtsy. "My pleasure." 

She giggles and I take it as a compliment. I leave her with my drink, handing it to her by the stem and nearly shattering it to the ground. All she does is giggle again. I find the bathroom quickly. The second I shut the door, I'm faced with my own reflection. I instantly push up my glasses and wipe some sweat away from my forehead. I run an idle through my hair as I stare into the mirror. 

Fuck.

I know it will be easy. It won't be hard. All I have to do is just say hi and mention something about Billy Joel and I know we'll end up talking for hour, both of us lying across the sofas, smearing the dirt from our shoes onto the fine material. I'm not sure if I want to engage in an all day conversation with Ryan though. He's just...

I sigh, diverting my eyes from my reflection. Ryan once had a brief obsession with photography. It was during one of the tours where we headlined and had a copious amount of money we felt like we needed to spend. He bought a complex looking device, adding a new lens to the collection every time he got the chance to go to the store. He took general photos of the tour, small candids that portrayed intimate moments between the band. 

He would always ask to take photos of someone one-on-one but none of us wanted to with our constant photo shoot schedule. Somehow though, he always managed to pull me aside and tell me to stand in front of the window because the light would look cool or something. I never really questioned the logistics to it. I did as he told me to every time, looking aloof from the scene and just like what I thought Ryan would want. He would take a photograph, look at the preview screen, smile, and then take another. I never asked him about the pictures and he never got them printed. 

Maybe I should ask about those at some point. I bet he still has all the pictures in a shoe box that he keeps in his attic. I'm not even sure if Ryan has an attic though.

I finish up in the bathroom, not looking in the mirror again. The party is just how I left it, full of small chatter and hollow laughs. I roll my eyes a little and look for Sarah, finding that my prior spot on the couch is now vacant of her. 

"Sorry, man." A guy says, right after he pushes past me, looking a little unhinged.

I watch him walk off in a rush and blink once. Then I'm yelling like some manic, "Wait, Ryan!" 

The guy turns around, abruptly stopping in his tracks when he hears me. I put on a smile as he observes me, myself maybe, just maybe, doing the same. His hair is cut similar to mine, pushed back slightly with some kind of hair product. He's wearing this leather jacket that looks beat up and cozy and familiar on his frame. He doesn't look like the same kid who used to push me near the window and take photographs of my portrait. 

"Hey," he finally says, voice actually full of warmth. 

I try to imagine him with his fancy camera in his grasp now, turning on the flash to take a picture of the goofy look that's undeniably playing on my features. 

"Haven't seen you in a while." I say dumbly, slipping my fidgety hands in my pockets. 

He watches me do it too, his eyes flickering downwards then back up. I can bet he's thinking something sarcastic about my past ADHD fits coming to mind. "Yeah, I know." He replies cooly. "Which is weird since, you know, we don't live that far apart." 

I nod, my smile still on my face. I kind of wish it would go away a little at least. Ryan just gives me this look that seems familiar and like home but I can't be sure about it. Part of me thinks that I'm in some shitty romance movie and I'll get all these vivid memories of Ryan and I, but I don't. All I get is his face looking a little confused. 

"Um, I was kind of trying to find my friend, he, uh...It's a long story." He tells me, looking a little regretful. "We should catch up at some point, yeah?" 

It seems easy for him. To just make a quick conversation and then leave. Oh, but Ryan has mastered his disappearing acts over the years. 

"Yeah, yeah of course." I nod quickly and look down to my feet. 

"Cool, see you then, Bren." 

"Bye." I nod cordially and embark back to Sarah before I have to watch him walk off because God knows I've seen that enough. 

Sarah's a lot easier to find than I thought. She's just with a group of her friends, listening to a story about someone's dog. I sneak in quietly and grasp around for her hand. 

"I did it." I say without needing further explanation.

"Yeah?" She says, looking proud of me. "How'd it go?"

I think about all the other times I've said quick hello's to Ryan. They're always full of clipped words and kept in words. 

"Same as usual." 

They always end in Ryan walking away first, and all I really wanted to do was change that for once. I imagine Ryan with his stupid camera and taking a picture of my back as I finally walk away first.


End file.
